i still love you despite all.

i want to scream out loud.
just scream and vent out all the emotions in me.
what the fuck is wrong with me?
i know i shouldnt yet i did. all my stupid mouth.
i'm such a no brainer. dont think before i talk. i deserve a big tight slap for myself. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he is stressed with his army life. yet i'm adding burden to him.
i really want to be the gf who encourages him all the way, who supports him.
yet i think i'm the one who hurts him the deepest & his greatest anger.

i cant be the gf who dont meet him when he book out.
i always want to take any chance to meet him. is it too much for him to take?
can anyone tell me how to give him peace? give him his own time?

i tell myself, i cannt give up here. i must learn. I MUST learn to be his good girlfriend. really.
I cant give up & i wont give up.

It's all my fault... yupp. all mine. so i'll need to cool down. cannt be so short-tempered.

yup. i'm physco-ing myself to listen to myself.
i shouldnt put the blame on him.
i should reflect on myself instead. yes i should.

i just want to see his smile...

still, i love him.

it will only be perfect when i've overcome all the imperfections.